The Secret Critic | Judge | Chatter
Hello there! Welcome to my weekly LEAPS.
You’re receiving this email because you subscribed to my weekly Wednesday feature or our mailing list. Every Wednesday, I share 5 things using our LEAPS approach:
Learn: something new or an idea
Energy: an energy (good or bad) word and it’s meaning
Action: something to do
Processing: a question to consider
Shout out: something or someone that I want to celebrate or acknowledge
LEARN
Something Worth Sharing
The Secret Critic
While writing my first proper book, I have discovered something about myself that I hadn't expected.
The writing wasn't the difficult part. The stories were already there. I'd lived them. If anything, they flowed more easily than I imagined they would. The first manuscript was written in just three weeks.
The response surprised me too. Before the editing had even finished, people I deeply respect had begun reading it. Some generously agreed to endorse it. Every email should have made me feel more confident - and I thought that was happening.
Until, something else happened.
One night I dreamt I was about to walk onto a stage to perform a ninety-minute stand-up comedy show. Please know that I have absolutely no desire to be a comedian.
In the dream, the audience were taking their seats. I had my notes. I was chatting to someone moments before the curtain went up when they looked at me and said,
"This is everything you're told not to do in stand-up."
Then I woke up. The more I thought about it, the more I realised the dream had nothing to do with comedy. It had everything to do with me - not because I doubted whether I could write a book, I'd already written it.
I don’t doubt whether the stories matter. I'd lived every one of them. It was because the real question hiding underneath was far more uncomfortable.
Did I believe I belonged in the world of authors?
That was the moment I met what I now think of as the secret critic.
The quiet voice that doesn't question your ability - it questions your identity.
It whispers,
"Real authors don't write like this."
"You're doing it the wrong way."
"Who do you think you are?"
When I was at breakfast the morning after the dream, nothing had changed.
The manuscript was exactly the same. The endorsements were exactly the same. The encouragement from others was exactly the same.
The only thing that had changed was that I'd caught the conversation I was having with myself. It made me realise something I've seen countless times in leaders, founders and advisers.
Capability and identity don't always grow together. You can be entirely capable of doing something while quietly believing you don't belong among the people who do it.
You can build the business, lead the team, write the book, or deliver the keynote. Through all of this we can also still carry an invisible judge who questions whether we have the right to call ourself what we've already become.
Perhaps that's why identity sits at the very heart of the GLAS framework. Before we can relate well to anyone else, we have to examine the relationship we have with ourselves.
Sometimes the greatest obstacle isn't a lack of capability - it's an identity that simply hasn't caught up with the evidence.
ENERGY
Focusing on an emotion or energy; a stand-out word / s
Judge
We often think of a judge as someone who sits in a courtroom, deciding whether a person is guilty or innocent.
The word judge comes from the Latin judex, meaning "one who declares the law" or "one who decides." It combines jus meaning law or right with dicere, meaning to speak or to declare.
Originally, a judge wasn't simply someone with an opinion; a judge had the authority to determine what was true, what was acceptable and what should happen next.
Over time, the meaning expanded beyond the courtroom. Today, we talk about judging situations, judging performance and, perhaps most commonly, judging ourselves.
ACTION
Something small that you can do that might make a big difference
Your Evidence
Write down something you've achieved that you're proud of.
Now place it somewhere you'll see it every day for the next week. Every time your inner judge speaks, point to the evidence instead.
PROCESSING
A question to think about and consider (you can discuss this with someone or write your thoughts down)
“Where is your inner judge holding you back?”
We all have an inner voice that quietly passes judgement before we've even taken action. It tells us we're not ready, not experienced enough, or that we don't belong. Think about one area of your life where that voice has been influencing your decisions. Notice whether it's based on today's evidence or yesterday's beliefs. Recognising the judge is the first step towards no longer letting it decide your future.
This question will be added to the Community Space in the Leapers Club for you to share your thoughts.
SHOUT OUT
Who / what I think deserves recognition, my gratitude or to be celebrated.
Vulnerability
One of the most important moments in my Learn wasn't the dream itself. It was telling someone about it.
Not just describing the dream, but admitting the feeling that sat underneath it. The fear that, despite everything, part of me still questioned whether I belonged in the world of authors.
That conversation reminded me that vulnerability isn't about exposing weakness. It's about allowing someone else to see what we're often trying hardest to hide.
The moment I said it out loud, it became easier to recognise it for what it was: not the truth, just a story I'd been carrying. Sometimes the greatest gift we can give ourselves is to let someone else hold the weight of a thought we've been carrying alone. Shout out to being able to do just that!
Are You Busy or Effective?
WHEN: Thursday 24th September
TIME: 12noon (BST)CLICK TO REGISTER
BONUS GIFT FOR YOU
This week’s little extra for you - from me.
This week’s gift is the updated visual for Chatter by Ehan Kross.
This is available to you for free (for 7 days) using the code: INNERCRITIC when you check out. Access is via the link / button below.
Please note that if you miss the 7 day offer, we can not extend this for you. You can, however always access the download for a nominal charge.
The artwork featured in this section is all copyrighted and for private use only. If you wish to use these online, in blogs / features or in presentations etc - we are happy to discuss licences. Please get in touch. The downloads do not have watermarks.
If you’d like to discuss having your ideas, business or culture captured visually - you can also let me know via email.
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LEAPS is a process used by our team and clients all the time - and even my own family on a daily basis.
I’ll be sharing a set of LEAPS each week with you and encourage you to do your own version:
L: what have you learned?
E: what’s your energy / feeling word
A: what’s one thing you need to do?
P: what are you thinking / processing?
S: who or what can you shout out?
