Smarter Conflict | Impeccable| The One Thing
Hello there! Welcome to my weekly LEAPS.
You’re receiving this email because you subscribed to my weekly Wednesday feature or our mailing list. Every Wednesday, I share 5 things using our LEAPS approach:
Learn: something new or an idea
Energy: an energy (good or bad) word and it’s meaning
Action: something to do
Processing: a question to consider
Shout out: something or someone that I want to celebrate or acknowledge
LEARN
Something Worth Sharing
Smarter Conflict
While working in the States recently, two of our adult children were left in charge of the house and dogs. As tends to happen between siblings, they had a brief disagreement and fall out. Thankfully they worked through it immediately (after a bit of name-calling, no doubt) and together resolved things.
This got me thinking about conflicts - especially as we seem to have them popping up all around the world too! Conflicts can be pretty unpleasant to be part of. However, I wanted to understand what the benefits could be. The positives that can come from ‘smarter conflict’ include:
An opportunity for improved communication
A basis for better problem-solving and decision-making
Increased creativity and innovation
A chance to strengthen relationships
Personal growth, development and resilience
So, given that there are some great benefits that can come from conflict, it may be helpful to share a check-list to navigate the core challenges and ensure you end up on the positive side of smarter conflicts:
Consider what you want as an outcome first
Read the room - context, values, emotions, beliefs etc
Establish some common ground - what can be agreed on
Take responsibility for your part
Frame the message accordingly
Use a pause / break if things escalate
Be kind (to yourself and others)
Agree outcomes
Check-in to ensure everything has been covered
Do what was agreed!
And finally, remember this…if you think someone’s being unreasonable, chances are you’re also being unreasonable in some way.
ENERGY
An emotion or energy; a stand-out word / s
Impeccable
One of our team used this word recently - and I commented on what a superb word it is. On looking up the origins and etymology, I found that it is directly from Late Latin impeccabilis meaning "not liable to sin". This was formed from IN "not"+ PECCARE "to sin".
We now use the word most commonly to describe something that is flawless, faultless, or without any errors - which struck me that this is very rare and perhaps a little unreasonable!
ACTION
Something small that you can do that might make a big difference
Use “Outcome-First” Thinking
I have stumbled over the power of starting with the end in mind a fair few times recently. As mentioned in this week’s LEARN, one of the best starting points for conflict resolution is to first consider what you want the outcome to be. The Action for this week is inspired by this - begin your day with what you would ideally like to achieve and feel as one of your first thoughts. We’re referring to this as ‘outcome-first’ thinking.
PROCESSING
A question to think about and consider (you can discuss this with someone or write your thoughts down)
“With what’s left of this year, what will I focus on?”
Not that I’m wishing the year away - far from it - but, what would you like to focus on with what is left of the year? Try and be brave and bold in your thinking and write it down, share it…and make sure it’s important enough for you.
I’d love for you to send me your own stories / thoughts about this. Drop me a line with your answer / thoughts on this question
SHOUT OUT
Who / what I think deserves recognition - my gratitude or to be celebrated.
Time Out
Now, you can take this in a few ways, but this week I’m shouting out “time out”. Originally I was thinking of it in terms of taking a break and vacations (or a change of scenery at least!), but using a ‘time out’ when struggling with decision-making, coming up with new ideas and concepts, during heated moments etc. can also be a great strategy. Taking a ‘time out’ is brilliant for regrouping, resting and gaining a new perspective!
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LEAPS is a process used by our team and clients all the time - and even my own family on a daily basis.
I’ll be sharing a set of LEAPS each week with you and encourage you to do your own version:
L: what have you learned?
E: what’s your energy / feeling word
A: what’s one thing you need to do?
P: what are you thinking / processing?
S: who or what can you shout out?
