Be Honest, We All Lie | Resilience | The Way of Integrity
Hello there! Welcome to my weekly LEAPS.
You’re receiving this email because you subscribed to my weekly Wednesday feature or our mailing list. Every Wednesday, I share 5 things using our LEAPS approach:
Learn: something new or an idea
Energy: an energy (good or bad) word and it’s meaning
Action: something to do
Processing: a question to consider
Shout out: something or someone that I want to celebrate or acknowledge
LEARN
Something Worth Sharing
Be Honest, We All Lie
The suggestion of being a liar is something that feels pretty awful to me. I have a real issue with deceit, and yet when I read The Way of Integrity by Martha Beck, it points out that most of us are lying - to ourselves. I can now painfully admit that this was something that was true for me.
Last week was a relative’s significant birthday. When growing up we were really close - I’d go far as to say we were the best of friends. Then life took over - work, families, broken marriages etc. While I was in the middle of house-moving, divorce and buying a business in 2003, this relative took issue with me not being able to visit her the weekend her daughter was born. She decided our friendship was over. We remained cordial and I said I was okay with her decision - but that was the lie; it hurt deeply and I was far from being okay.
I desperately wanted to reach out to wish her a special birthday - through Messenger, given I don’t have any other contact details anymore. But then I stopped myself and asked the question ‘why?’. On one hand I believe 100% in kindness and giving to others. On the other (honest) hand, she hurt me and hasn’t bothered with me or my family for 21 years, so why did I really want to reach out?
I decided to not contact her - it wouldn’t have really made any difference to anything other than to frustrate me in the hope of healing a wound. Being honest with ourselves requires us to go deeper than logic and to tap into our core beliefs. Our research at GLAS highlighted years ago that there are 5 beliefs that tend to be at the root of our behaviours:
Am I enough…?
Do I belong…?
Am I responsible…?
Do I deserve…?
Am I loveable…?
Being honest with myself stopped me reaching out and sending a message because that would have been me trying to see if I belonged in her tribe and whether I was enough to be liked by her. That’s the honest truth I had to face - that, and that a birthday message would not deal with these things! I simply allowed myself to hope she had a lovely birthday because I believed that was my responsibility and a kind thing to think - and then let it go. If we’re completely honest - ironically, we’d admit we all lie to ourselves!
ENERGY
An emotion or energy; a stand-out word / s
Resilience
The word resilience is one we tend to hear quite a lot - resilient businesses, resilient people, resilient economies etc. It turns out that the word ‘resilience’ is relatively new - from the 1600s.
It means: "act of rebounding or springing back", and originates from Latin RESILIRE meaning "to rebound, recoil". The word formed RE "back" + SALIRE "to jump, leap".
The interesting thing is that when we jump consistently, we improve strength and health - even if we strain a muscle or two on the way!
ACTION
Something small that you can do that might make a big difference
Take A Moment
I heard someone say this recently - that they needed to ‘take a moment’. I loved it! We too easily give up and give away our time, so why not take a minute - as your time is yours really. Do with it what you will, but just take a moment for yourself.
PROCESSING
A question to think about and consider (you can discuss this with someone or write your thoughts down)
“What’s the story of your name?”
My name is annoying. People mispronounce it on a daily basis. I tend to get called DARNIE or DANNY, and yet it is actually pronounced DAY-NEE. The story behind it is that my parents made it up - my mum is Diane and my dad is Derek. They wanted something similar but different to Diane. What’s the story of your name?
I’d love for you to send me your own stories / thoughts about this. Drop me a line with your answer / thoughts on this question
SHOUT OUT
Who / what I think deserves recognition - my gratitude or to be celebrated.
Being Stretched
Inspired by the word ‘resilience’, the ability to bounce back means we must have been stretched first. We can’t build resilience if we don’t live and feel discomfort from time-to-time. When we stretch ourselves we get to see what we’re able to achieve. When we physically stretch we become more agile and flexible. Shout out to being stretched and stretching ourselves!
BONUS GIFT FOR YOU
The gift is only available to those that subscribe to the weekly LEAPS email
insert sign up form here
The artwork featured in this section is all copyrighted and for private use only. If you wish to use these online, in blogs / features or in presentations etc - we are happy to discuss licences. Please get in touch. The downloads do not have watermarks.
If you’d like to discuss having your ideas, business or culture captured visually - you can also let me know via email.
LEAPS is a process used by our team and clients all the time - and even my own family on a daily basis.
I’ll be sharing a set of LEAPS each week with you and encourage you to do your own version:
L: what have you learned?
E: what’s your energy / feeling word
A: what’s one thing you need to do?
P: what are you thinking / processing?
S: who or what can you shout out?
