5,4,3,2,1…Just Ask | Tolerate | A More Beautiful Question
Hello there! Welcome to my weekly LEAPS.
You’re receiving this email because you subscribed to my weekly Wednesday feature or our mailing list. Every Wednesday, I share 5 things using our LEAPS approach:
Learn: something new or an idea
Energy: an energy (good or bad) word and it’s meaning
Action: something to do
Processing: a question to consider
Shout out: something or someone that I want to celebrate or acknowledge
LEARN
Something Worth Sharing
5,4,3,2,1…Just Ask
I had a great reminder recently about the importance and value of just asking for what you want or need. I reached out to a wonderful person that I’ve been working with for some time now with a ‘just ask’ question. While my question had sat with me for a couple of weeks, I decided that I may as well put my question to them - to my utter delight it was received incredibly well. I was thrilled. This then led to them countering with their own ‘just ask’ question. Through being bold and brave, we’re on an exciting path and I am so grateful to have ‘just asked’ despite worrying about a ‘no’.
My experience has been that we tend to be poor at asking for what we want or need, often for a number of reasons. The biggest reason is always ourself, including:
Stubbornness
Not feeling worthy of help
Not wanting to put others out
A fear of rejection
A fear of embarrassment
Not knowing how to ask (or who to ask)
Not being self-aware to know what help is needed
Not knowing how to receive the help
This is where we can use the wonderful ‘5,4,3,2,1’ countdown so often spoken about by Mel Robbins. When you get stuck, count backwards from 5 and then ‘just ask’. What is the worst thing that can happen?
ENERGY
An emotion or energy; a stand-out word / s
Tolerate
I challenged a client recently about what they were tolerating from someone. This inspired me to look up the etymology of ‘tolerate’.
From Latin word TOLERARE meaning "forbear to judge of or condemn with bigotry and severity".
While originally meaning an avoidance of judgement or bigotry, we now often ‘tolerate’ poor behaviour and things we perhaps shouldn’t put up with.
ACTION
Something small that you can do that might make a big difference
8-Minute Catch-Up
I stumbled over some research recently via the wonderful thought-leader Simon Sinek. It was based on the importance of having regular check-ins with people in our lives and how this translated into a significant reduction in levels of depression, loneliness, and anxiety.
He advocated for dedicating short, focused periods of connection with friends or loved ones. It was found that by mutually agreeing to an eight-minute time limit beforehand, both parties connecting can engage in a meaningful exchange without overstaying their welcome. This ensures that the time spent together is both beneficial and respected.
So, pick someone to agree to an 8-minute check-in this week and then make it as meaningful as possible.
PROCESSING
A question to think about and consider (you can discuss this with someone or write your thoughts down)
“What is the toughest question you’ve ever been asked, and why?”
While we love questions, some can be tougher than others. This week we wanted to get you to reflect on questions that have challenged you more than others - perhaps because they were at a pivotal point in your life.
I’d love for you to send me your own stories / thoughts about this. Drop me a line with your answer / thoughts on this question
SHOUT OUT
Who / what I think deserves recognition - my gratitude or to be celebrated.
Curiosity
Following on from the ‘questions’ point above, being curious is such a wonderful trait. Children can often be THE most curious with endless ‘but why?’ questions. The shout out is not just to recognise the importance of curiosity, but to serve as a reminder to keep being curious in general.
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LEAPS is a process used by our team and clients all the time - and even my own family on a daily basis.
I’ll be sharing a set of LEAPS each week with you and encourage you to do your own version:
L: what have you learned?
E: what’s your energy / feeling word
A: what’s one thing you need to do?
P: what are you thinking / processing?
S: who or what can you shout out?
