The Kindness Struggle | Prefer | Top Brain Bottom Brain
Hello there! Welcome to my weekly LEAPS.
You’re receiving this email because you subscribed to my weekly Wednesday feature or our mailing list. Every Wednesday, I share 5 things using our LEAPS approach:
Learn: something new or an idea
Energy: an energy (good or bad) word and it’s meaning
Action: something to do
Processing: a question to consider
Shout out: something or someone that I want to celebrate or acknowledge
LEARN
Something Worth Sharing
The Kindness Struggle
Kindness is one of my most favourite subjects, having studied and focused on it for over 8 years now. I could bore you to tears talking about its definition and the multiple physical and mental health benefits! The thing that still amazes me most about it though, is the struggle we all tend to have at receiving it.
During a recent group activity, I once again observed how uncomfortable we can be when receiving praise and acknowledgement. This reminded me of the way in which strangers would be shocked when I approached them to give them a gift - as part of a random act of kindness. Their surprise was almost matched by them questioning what was expected in return. We seem to have got to a place in society whereby we feel it necessary to question the motives of a kind gesture. Surely there must be a reason that someone would give a gift or say something kind and appreciative. Being able to receive kindness - in whatever form - is uncomfortable and challenging.
Have you noticed how we get offered a 20% discount by online retailers, BUT ONLY if we give our email address first? This is an example of us only receiving something when we give. Kindness can - and should be - just that, a kindness without expectation. Try it, be kind for no other reason. Equally, when you receive a simple act of kindness of any type and form, don’t struggle with it - just smile and say ‘thank you’.
ENERGY
An emotion or energy; a stand-out word / s
Prefer
While working with a client recently, we’ve been focusing on ‘preferences’ - the preferred modes of behaviour that people tend to gravitate towards. This led to our word for the week - prefer.
It is directly from Latin PRAEFERRE meaning "place or set before, carry in front". It’s formed from PRAE "before" (as in ‘pre’) + FERRE "to carry, to bear". When we prefer something, we prioritise it - at the front (or top) of the list.
ACTION
Something small that you can do that might make a big difference
A Kind Act
Do a deliberate act of kindness and observe how it feels to you - and how it is received.
PROCESSING
A question to think about and consider (you can discuss this with someone or write your thoughts down)
“What do I respond well to - and not respond well to?”
Inspired by the client work mentioned above, this week’s question is getting you to consider what you respond well to (it could be something like praise or recognition). Then consider what you do not respond well to (this could be criticism or disorder, for example). Be as honest as you can, and perhaps share and discuss your thoughts with your colleagues, team or family.
I’d love for you to send me your own stories / thoughts about this. Drop me a line with your answer / thoughts on this question
SHOUT OUT
Who / what I think deserves recognition - my gratitude or to be celebrated.
Together Moments
I love being together with my family. I love when my husband and I get one-to-one time together for a date. I always look forward to working together with my colleagues. Together, we design and develop new ideas and approaches - it’s just the best! I love getting together with old friends and making new friends. My shout out is to all the ‘together’ moments - and a reminder to cherish each and every one.
BONUS GIFT FOR YOU
The gift is only available to those that subscribe to the weekly LEAPS email
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LEAPS is a process used by our team and clients all the time - and even my own family on a daily basis.
I’ll be sharing a set of LEAPS each week with you and encourage you to do your own version:
L: what have you learned?
E: what’s your energy / feeling word
A: what’s one thing you need to do?
P: what are you thinking / processing?
S: who or what can you shout out?
