The Identity Trap | Independent | Ego Is The Enemy
Hello there! Welcome to my weekly LEAPS.
You’re receiving this email because you subscribed to my weekly Wednesday feature or our mailing list. Every Wednesday, I share 5 things using our LEAPS approach:
Learn: something new or an idea
Energy: an energy (good or bad) word and it’s meaning
Action: something to do
Processing: a question to consider
Shout out: something or someone that I want to celebrate or acknowledge
LEARN
Something Worth Sharing
The Identity Trap
We confuse who we are with what we run. The week after I closed our family business, I went to a networking event. I was shell shocked and still numb. Someone asked the simplest question in the room:
“So, what do you do?”
I opened my mouth and nothing came out. The business was gone and along with it, my title. CEO of our manufacturing business had been my answer for years. Without it, I realised something far more unsettling had disappeared too. I no longer knew who I was.
This is common, particularly for founders and long term leaders. For me, my name was literally above the door.
Building something from nothing, carrying responsibilities, protecting it, growing it - even fighting for it. Over time, the edges between who we are and what we do can blur. The business does not just become something we run - it becomes something we are.
When identity and enterprise fuse completely, both can become constrained. This is something I was talking through with a founder recently - even their language confused them with their business.
A person cannot evolve because the business needs them to stay the same.
A business cannot evolve because the person needs it to confirm who they are.
Identity and purpose matter, for you - and for the organisation, but they are separate. Yes, they are connected and mutually influential, but they must not be confused.
If your role changed tomorrow, what would remain? If your business was to disappear, who would you be? If something happened to you, what would your business be?
ENERGY
An emotion or energy; a stand-out word / s
Independent
The word comes from the Latin: in- meaning “not” + dependere meaning “to hang from”. It entered English in the early 17th century meaning “not hanging from something else” and later, “not subject to control by others.”
At its root, independent literally means not hanging from which is powerful in the context of who we are versus what we do. If your identity is hanging from your business, title, or role, it is dependent. If it stands on its own, it is independent.
ACTION
Something small that you can do that might make a big difference
Do V. Am
Draw a line down the centre of a page.
On the left, write: What I Do
On the right, write: Who I Am
Under What I Do, list your roles, titles, responsibilities, outputs (including the things you do away from work!).
Under Who I Am, list qualities, values, ways of thinking, strengths that would remain even if every role disappeared.
Ask yourself: If all the left column changed tomorrow, would the right still stand?
PROCESSING
A question to think about and consider (you can discuss this with someone or write your thoughts down)
“What experiences and expectations have shaped who I believe I am? And which have I chosen and which have I adapt to?”
This week’s question invites you to look beneath your roles and titles, and into the forces that formed you. Experiences and expectations shape identity quietly over time.
As you reflect, notice which parts of who you are feel consciously chosen, and which feel inherited, absorbed, or performed. Where did you expand into yourself, and where did you contract to fit?
I’d love for you to send me your own stories / thoughts about this. Drop me a line with your answer / thoughts on this question
SHOUT OUT
Who / what I think deserves recognition - my gratitude or to be celebrated.
Self-Awareness
I want to shout out those that work with self-awareness. Ultimately self awareness is the quiet beginning of everything - change, clarity, growth, relationships with others…
Nothing shifts without self-awareness.
BONUS GIFT FOR YOU
This week’s little extra for you - from me
This week’s gift for you is a recreated GLAS visual Ego Is The Enemy by Ryan Holiday.
The offer (below) is available to you for free (for 7 days) using the code: AM when you check out. Access is via the link / button below.
Please note that if you miss the 7 day offer, we can not extend this for you. You can, however always access the download for a nominal charge.
Invisible Influence visual synopsis
The artwork featured in this section is all copyrighted and for private use only. If you wish to use these online, in blogs / features or in presentations etc - we are happy to discuss licences. Please get in touch. The downloads do not have watermarks.
If you’d like to discuss having your ideas, business or culture captured visually - you can also let me know via email.
LEAPS is a process used by our team and clients all the time - and even my own family on a daily basis.
I’ll be sharing a set of LEAPS each week with you and encourage you to do your own version:
L: what have you learned?
E: what’s your energy / feeling word
A: what’s one thing you need to do?
P: what are you thinking / processing?
S: who or what can you shout out?
