24.11.2021

They Aren’t Tough Decisions | Pause | Effortless

Hello there! Welcome to my weekly LEAPS. 

You’re receiving this email because you subscribed to my weekly Wednesday feature or our mailing list. Every Wednesday, I share 5 things using our LEAPS approach: 

Learn: something new or an idea
Energy: something that’s creating an energy and positive impact
Action: something to do
Processing: a question to consider
Shout out: something or someone that I want to celebrate or acknowledge

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LEARN
Something Worth Sharing

They Aren’t Tough Decisions

Last week we discussed the question: “What’s the toughest decision you’ve ever made?” in a Clubhouse session (see my Processing section below). I often find that these questions - and consequent discussions - help to uncover deeper questions and thinking. This was certainly the case when we looked at what exactly a ‘tough decision’ was.

The realisation was that tough decisions are often ones that are inevitable - there’s little choice, such as having to close or leave a business. The ‘tough’ part is particularly interesting. The meaning of the word tough is: "not tender or fragile;" and actually all the ‘tough decisions’ we discussed were very fragile and had a tenderness to them - or certainly emotion. The lightbulb moment then came…

Tough decisions are rarely tough decisions, but ‘courageous’, ‘resilient’ and ‘brave’. Much of our language is steered by the notion of valuable things being tough, difficult, challenging, busy, answer-focused, fixed, powerful and strong. However, when we start to unpick this, we can see that we need to consider better valuing language such as: courage, space, ease, question-focused, vulnerability, failure, growth and resilience.

This beautifully connects to the extra gift I’m giving this week in terms of my recommended book for you, and the downloadable #visualsynopsis: Effortless by Greg McKeown.

ENERGY
Focusing on an emotion or positive energy; a stand-out word / s

PAUSE

I love this word but have never really known it’s origins. It is associated with the Greek word PAUSEIN meaning ‘to stop, cease, hold back’. When I looked it up, it seems that the etymology is uncertain. Having said that, I also discovered that there is definitely a Late Latin word PAUSA and French word PAUSER. It seems that every language has a version.

This made me think that pausing can often have an uncertain origin, but we all have a word for it - there is always a need for a pause. In terms of ‘energy’, a pause is one of the most important things for managing our own energy, the energy of a story, a presentation, a sales pitch and so on.

ACTION
Something small that you can do that might make a big difference

Try the easy way

Consider something you’re struggling with - if possible, write it down.

Now look at it and write next to it one easy thing (this may also mean a small thing) you can do right now to help just a little. The easy thing you choose could be a question.

We often feel overwhelmed by the big, complex stuff - and yet the first step to untangling anything is to first find the end and slowly work to untangle a bit at a time.

PROCESSING
A question to think about and consider (you can discuss this with someone or write your thoughts down)

“What have you forgotten?”

I love to throw in slightly ambiguous questions sometimes! This question can take you in many different directions…we all know the feeling of walking into a room and forgetting why we’re there and what we were about to do, but what else have you forgotten? Have you forgotten why you’re in the job you have? Have you forgotten who you are or your purpose? With all our questions, they can be lighthearted and / or deep and meaningful.

Join Wendy and I at 11am (UK time) in our Deliberately Inquisitive Clubhouse session as below.

Clubhouse at 11am (UK) on 26th November

SHOUT OUT
Who / what I think deserves recognition, my gratitude or to be celebrated.

Birthdays

This week, one of my most wonderful friends celebrated a BIG birthday. Next year I will be joining her as I turn 50 - and of course I have a raft of dear friends from my school days who are - and will be - celebrating this special birthday around me.

My shout out to ‘birthdays’ comes as a result of some terrible news from last week. A very old friend of mine posted on Facebook that her younger sister, who has spent the last seven months in hospital receiving treatment for cancer, lost her brave battle and passed away peacefully at home. Helen was 49, a loving mum and wife. My memories of her were from our time as competitive ice skaters - she was 100mph on the ice, and in life.

I’ve lost a few friends from my childhood over the past couple of years and losing Helen stopped me in my tracks. She won’t make it to 50. Each year that passes is a gift - every birthday is a celebration, not because of cake and presents but of the opportunities and progress we can make, the relationships and experiences we can cherish. Yesterday I got to have breakfast with Wendy to kick off her celebrations for her 50 years - and I raised a glass to Helen too and made a promise that I’d make every day count and be deliberate - because none of us really know how many we’ll get.

BONUS GIFT FOR YOU
This week’s little extra for you - from me

Last week’s recommended read and visual synopsis is a new release from author Greg McKeown - Effortless. I LOVED this book and can’t recommend it highly enough. This book is a follow up to Essentialism which strangely, I’m now reading. I am not sure why I’m reading them in the wrong order, but they’re fabulous.

Click the button below to access a free download for the visual synopsis.

Order Your Deliberate Year Calendar-Planner

LEAPS is a process used by our team and clients all the time - and even my own family on a daily basis. 

I’ll be sharing a set of LEAPS each week with you and encourage you to do your own version:

• L: what have you learned?

• E: what’s your energy / feeling word

• A: what’s one thing you need to do?

• P: what are you thinking / processing?

• S: who or what can you shout out?