18.05.2022

The Issue Of Self-Kindness | Hold Silence | Not Knowing

Hello there! Welcome to my weekly LEAPS. 

You’re receiving this email because you subscribed to my weekly Wednesday feature or our mailing list. Every Wednesday, I share 5 things using our LEAPS approach: 

Learn: something new or an idea
Energy: something that’s creating an energy and positive impact
Action: something to do
Processing: a question to consider
Shout out: something or someone that I want to celebrate or acknowledge

Have you taken the GLAS Understanding Assessment
and received your free report?

LEARN
Something Worth Sharing

The Issue of Self-Kindness

This is very much a re-learn. On June 23rd 2021, I completed a 2000 day project to explore #kindness. It began in January 2016 to do a daily act of kindness over the month. Kindness is very much part of the GLAS Method and framework - it is a component of balanced leadership. However, as I began my daily acts of kindness, I became so fascinated with the subject that I continued to study kindness for the next 5 years. The greatest learning that I discovered during this time was that the real issue with kindness is self-kindness.

Self-kindness remains a difficult concept for most of us. Despite the increasing coverage of the importance and concerns around mental health on a global scale, there appears to be an oversight in the value of self-kindness. Instead, we focus on dealing at a surface level, with a ‘quick fix’ mindset, and prescribing tablets to make the problem go away. Our ability to be robustly self-kind and value ourselves as equal to others is key to changing the wellbeing of both ourselves and those in our lives. How we view and feel about ourselves is not a ‘soft’ issue that can simply be improved by numbing our feelings.

Our continued research has highlighted the fact that 28% of people - many of whom are teachers, leaders, business owners and entrepreneurs - feel stuck, with more than 1 in 4 feeling significant self-doubt. A huge 97% seek to improve their balance across all aspects of their life.

Self-kindness is not selfish, it is essential. Self-kindness is a core element for world class leadership, great parenting and thriving in a world where the unpredictable happens. As Maya Angelou said: “Nothing will work unless you do”.

ENERGY
Focusing on an emotion or positive energy; a stand-out word / s

Resilience

This word is a big favourite of mine. ‘Resilience’ originates from the Latin word RESILIRE meaning "to rebound, recoil". It’s formed from RE "back" + SALIRE "to jump, leap". To be resilient is to jump or spring back to a former state.

In looking up the meaning and origin of resilience, I found that the word result was also from the same Latin origin, and meant "action of leaping or springing back". It was only in more modern times that it developed to mean "arise as a consequence of facts, arguments, etc., decision, outcome of an action or process".

ACTION
Something small that you can do that might make a big difference

Hold Silence

One of my best friends and I have talked in past about the need to ‘hold silence’. We’re both great talkers, but we know how valuable it is to stay quiet - especially when there is an urge to jump in. This can be when parenting, talking to your partner, when with friends, in meetings etc.

My action this week is to practice holding silence, even when if it feels slightly awkward. It’s amazing how the space this creates can often be when the most valuable things happen.

PROCESSING
A question to think about and consider (you can discuss this with someone or write your thoughts down)

“How do you feel about failure?”

I’m extremely privileged to be a returning guest lecturer at Warwick Business School. This began over 10 years ago when I first reached out to a Professor of Entrepreneurship, because she held a special interest in failure and resilience, and had written a paper on failure within family businesses - a subject close to my heart at the time. I speak at the university several times a year and share my thoughts on the subject of resilience and how failure can be seen as a strength.

My question to you is: ‘how do you feel about failure, especially when you’ve failed at something?’

SHOUT OUT
Who / what I think deserves recognition, my gratitude or to be celebrated.

Not Knowing

As a child I thought that it was vitally important to ‘have the answer’ - after all, that’s what tests and exams are all about. I loved being the one to raise my hand eagerly in class, hoping the teacher would point in my direction - because I knew the answer. It’s only as you get older that you begin to realise that you don’t have to always have the answer - and more than that, it’s actually beneficial to not always know things. Admitting this can be tough - I’ve certainly met numerous professional advisers who have a real issue with this!

Knowing everything can be a dangerous mindset as well as sometimes unpleasant. No one can ever truly know everything anyway, so my shout out is to admitting and embracing ‘not knowing’!

BONUS GIFT FOR YOU
This week’s little extra for you - from me

This week, I’m recommending a fascinating book by Mark Wolynn - It Didn’t Start With You. I loved this book, and how Mark explains that we are a product of our environment and genetic make up. The book also explores how trauma can influence this across multiple generations. If you want to better understand who you are, you need to understand past generations.

The past week has been Mental Health Awareness Week - with the theme of ‘loneliness’. I created a poster to align with this, and can be downloaded via the link below.

If you’d like to discuss having your ideas, business or culture captured visually - you can also let me know via email.

*** ORDER YOURS NOW ***

Order Your Deliberate Year Calendar & Logbook Set

LEAPS is a process used by our team and clients all the time - and even my own family on a daily basis. 

I’ll be sharing a set of LEAPS each week with you and encourage you to do your own version:

• L: what have you learned?

• E: what’s your energy / feeling word

• A: what’s one thing you need to do?

• P: what are you thinking / processing?

• S: who or what can you shout out?